I was a fool to think that you loved me. And I was a kid on that cold night in London. I didn’t know what that word meant I’m clueless, I stood at the fence while the cool kids were boozing. And I didn’t know and I didn’t really care. I just coughed so politely with that stench in the air. And I’d kill that bastard if I were truly a man, but instead you’re in his room with your hand down his pants. And I fucked up so bad, I fucked up a lot. And all that you think that I am well I’m not. And my head is on fire and my room is a mess. Theres still marks on my neck and you know the rest. I know you too well, better than you. I knew what to expect but I’m still left confused, because all that I did was solely for you I said all the right words but I’m still the fool. And now you’re saying you don’t see me that way! Well what about then were you blind till today? I can’t understand, I won’t understand. And this all would be easy were I only a man

Baby, I tried to hold my breath until you slayed me. And these bones are quite imperfect like you made me. Oh how something beautiful loses its colour in the wake of the fall. It's burning down again. And as language loses traction on your heart, and my head, isn't turning, I’m not fighting, so I'm losing, and I'll tap out! So now we fall into the night just like we always do. Honey, I think something in your heart just isn't working. I could tell across the room it was the first thing. That made me fall in love because you're broken and I'm broken too. I did my best to pretend. Now we're getting caught in eddies in the wake of the event. So I’m left mourning something I didn’t want to end. It’s not like praying will make us good, its what we must and what we should. Sometimes, I wish I could be like them but that’s only sometimes. I don’t expend much importance on my self worth. I don’t play to my strengths because they’re worthless. So I just lose because I’m afraid! If theres one thing I have learned: It’s that everybody has angle on how to kill you first. It isn’t money or love and war, they’ll just bleed you out for fun. and when they’re finished you’re a loser then come down and join the club!

We both know the reason you’re alone at night, and I don’t want to hear it’s not so black and white Because you’re not the queen of empathy I know the knife in your hand’s for a fool like me And you know I tried to drive it through your black black heart, but when I saw you that low I thought “well that’s a start!” I took the bus! I took the train! I'd do it all over just to kill you again And when I saw you like that it had left me confused How long does it take until you feel overused? I'm not like that. I'll tell you that much I'm not the kind to fetishize your touch And I'm never that cruel, but I drove my knife through your heart Yeah I'm always the fool, Watch them tear me apart A beautiful mess, of whom I fantasized, but when she opens her mouth she sounds lobotomized And I knew you were numb, but not the extent! Now you're just an alum, of the guild in my head! Lets take a repeat, play that again You were not my lover and you’re not my friend Yeah I don’t play this shit for free, find some lonely sucker cause that sure ain’t me Remember this line, write that shit down, no one finds it cute when you're fucking around. No it's never been me to say what I want, but I'm telling you now and proving me wrong Turn up the knob, lock all the doors, If they want to stop us they’ll have to break through the walls That's just the way we were, but not anymore! It's not your new neighbours you're just getting too old! Remember the nights, when we roamed street? Remember some girl called Natalie? I was just a kid and I couldn't have known, you were my only friend until I was outgrown Lets take a repeat, play that again "Wednesday is over, its over again" yeah I don’t play this shit for free, find some lonely sucker cause that sure ain’t me

What am I going to say? What am I even going to do? Am I going to force myself to cry? I’m so out of practice with… feeling things that I’m honestly concerned that I dont have the emotion within me And in moments like this I always drift into thoughts of you. I think thats the worst part of it, its embarrassing and I wish I could just wash my hands of it, but I didnt want it to end at all, that wasn’t a conversation it was just like surprise! I dont know… I dont know if I have the capacity to love you, or anything for that matter. I really like some things, but it feels so fleeting and insencere that I dont think that its love, I dont feel it like those shitty songs on the radio make it out to be I dont think I like you that much, I dont even know you that much because you wont let me in. Or are you really that boring? And it begs me to ask the question: am I going to know it when its in front of me? Coward that I am You were so damn cute when you were a boy, but now youre fat an jaded and you’re not so nice Yeah I’m trying so hard, but its never enough. What do I need to buy that will make you love me? You’re never all there and and youre not my friend, but I was drifting in space and you were something to hold on You’re never my son but you’l always be my boy youre never my son but you’ll always be my boy You’re so damn smart, and so damn nice. Why you gotta fuck around and be such a bitch? I was so alone but you didn’t care, and now that you need something from me I’m not there I drink too much, I’m out of control, and when you give a shit thats when I’ll stop

Broken eyes, love of mine Its who we are, its all we are Your pornographic pictures, waning light could flicker Cold as the moon, cold as the moon I dont like looking out the window because its you I always see Walking to class with some boy who looks like me I think I need some help, but I’m too afraid to get it And if you go to trim the edges, I think you might regret it Its these blonde girls that look just like you and they really stress me out So when you see me there next Wednesday just pretend like I’m not there I’ll hold the knife thats in my pocket, and I’ll meet you in the stairs And in the mean time I’ll drag my body through the hordes of fucking hipster girls Dark as the moon, cold as the moon Denim jacket, and some sneakers. Faux self loathing and an arts degree I’ll see you there next Thursday, in a line for walk in therapy

Losing depth, losing sleep Your poisoned air’s been killing me It's all my fault, you're never home You're on my side but you're not my friend, you've got my heart, and I'm closing in, you cut me off for a lack of sin. It's not my motive to deceive, not a problem for you to grieve. Something's wrong and I don't know what, you shot me down just as I pulled out. It's not my own, this is not my home. You're pouring salt in my aching bones Doesn’t always have to be my fault, you’re all alone even when you’re not. Sometimes boys just aren’t your friend, only good things seem to end. “You’re off your head, drop out or drop dead” I don’t care, I’ll just fight. I don’t care, I’ll just go blind I was a father before a son, its not my problem that you’re so numb Almost never on my feet, and when I'm down they're kicking me You broke me down hard enough, now you've won you can back off I'm a shadow of who you want, I tried so hard but it's not enough. That’s something I wanted to be a lie now by winter you're incontinent and the wolves are letting on I wanted to crush you beneath my boot, but I let you breath and now I’m the fool in love with eyes that never see, another heart that doesn’t beat Can’t respond to stimuli Does it always have to be my fault? you’re all alone even when you’re not. Sometimes girls just aren’t your friend, only good things seem to end. “You’re off your head, drop out or drop dead” I don’t care, I’ll just fight. I don’t care, I’ll just go blind I was a father before a son, its not my problem that you’re so numb

Looks like Tommy’s got the slow gun. you’re never playing around because you’ve always got a new one. I’ve seen you lose, quit playing the blues. you know what I’d love to put between your eyes. There’s shit in your head. you’re sick in your bed. You’re cheating yourself all over again. Theres nothing but you. oh what I would do to beat you senseless until I find the cause. Oh love of mine, you know I tried but sometimes trying doesn’t make the cut. Hope you’re at ease down there on your knees. You must have known that someday I’d leave. You said it was fine, you needed some time. Must be nice living on daddies dime. But never fear, karma is here. I’m all alone with nothing but my guilt. Do you really believe what they say about me? Your skunkworks haven’t been fooling anyone I was a kid back then and what I knew I didn’t know Do you really believe anything that I’ve said? Is it the drones with the dead eyes? I fantasize about them but I don’t even know why. I guess it’s cause I’m alone, and you don’t pick up your phone. But here I am grinding my teeth. It was out of my hands. All I could do was beg. But there’s nothing I’d say that could change your mind. I couldn’t see, and now its turning me green. How could I have stopped it while I was asleep? I was living off of stale saltines, and you were doing your rounds giving every boy a strip tease. You lied through your teeth, but it was me who believed: that someone ever could hawve loved me. such as it is this is how it begins, and I think its time that I checked out. “Can we be friends?” well that depends, how fast that gun is back in your hands Do you really believe what they say about me? Your skunkworks haven’t been fooling anyone. I was a kid back then and what I knew I didn’t know Do you really believe anything that I’ve said? Do you really believe what they’ve said about me? Your skunkworks haven’t been hiding anything You’re still a kid and you’ll never grow up Do you understand anything I say?

Oh darling, we're nothing like we were when we were young we've changed, and it's hard to refrain From the bleeding, in your teething mouth And now you're far, from a boy, but you're hardly a man And I said that, just for the sake of talking And I thought that was what you were hoping to hear Lightning's not so scary now That there's so, so much more, to be fearful for Oh baby, I was hoping you would come around, And maybe, when we're older what's quiet will be loud But lately, I've been losing faith! I know that you're stuck in a rut, but you just stare in space And I'd kill to forget your face, the way you walk, and the way you talk We would kill your mother and your sister, that would soothe our bleeding hearts And I know that you need more than I can give you, but baby you know I tried I made you, and through my bloodshot eyes I couldn’t see I was wrong, and you knew from the start Receding into archetypes I was the fool, not the snake. My bed was made I’m brooding for my remaining years I am a slave to the wind that blows from the north I beg you, aren’t you cruel enough? Thats not the point, its been done, the wound’s been cut Chorus Drifting, from the arms of your love You’re just a child, and you’ll learn, how cruel is the world You’re moving, with the weight of the world On your back. Its these burdens, that you take that none of us expect And you’re loved but your heart is shut You’ve been waiting for that one true love They’ll never come, thats ok! Its only you in your way.

I'm just a fool like I was back then but now I'm just a fool, with a head full of your damn lies. Come on baby he's just a kid! I never saw someone crying like you did I was a man and you were the mouse I'm not so low as to kick you when you're down You were a child and I was a kid It doesn't sound so much different but it is I'm not as deluded as you are But my good intentions never seem to go that far You were the man and I was a mouse It's funny how fast you forget when it suits you most Baby, we could have been free then But you wanted to be them, so I went home Last night, when we were dreaming, I was screaming but you didn’t care I was melting into the ground, our roots are bound but its not enough I wasn’t born yesterday but its pretty close the things I know least are what I pretend to most I always seem to be misunderstood I’m too afraid to kiss you when I should Always a boy but never a man This bullshit keeps repeating again and again “It’s gotta be bad before it gets good” Fuck your psychology its good when its good All that I want is to be treated the same But you’re too good for me, and you’ve made that very plain Baby, we could have been free then But you wanted to be them, so I went home! lately we’ve been brooding, and every morning you’ve packed your bags And now, we’re in the river, and I hate swimming, so I’d rather drown (Give it to me one more time…) She’s there when I’m sleeping but I know that they’re just dreams It’s right in my window, but none of its for me I just don’t want to die alone I’ve passed through your turnstile, so I’m stranded on my own Another notch for the belt Guess thats what you wanted, but thats not how it felt Why are your mistakes always my fault? Its fucking exhausting and you’re just a waste of salt You’re like a vampire for my joy! But I’m so god damn lonely that it felt like I was yours Just dig my grave at the alter
Mrs brown I fucking hate your daughter Just dig my grave at the alter
Mrs brown I fucking hate your daughter Just dig my grave at the alter
Mrs brown I fucking hate your daughter Just dig my grave at the alter
Mrs brown I fucking hate your daughter

Oh god I need to know am I your son or am I your pet? Did you make me like you or just like them? Who’s writing the scripts for mans best friend? I think I need some corrections, or a rewrite from someone sober (don’t send the intern) Come on baby put out your fires, you’re all alone now but you weren’t last night now weren’t you? If you didn’t want me to leave then why’d you ask me to? And if the world is so bad how come you got it in the palm of your hand You’re not too smart, but you’ve got a real nice face And we’re all still kids we just run in place (Its all that we have, this is all I have done, if I had money I’d fix it for you but I cant afford my rent) I was staring (without looking) screaming (without speaking) crying (without feeling) Trying (without moving) now, why are you so self obsessed? I’m so tired of sex. It’s just a chore I have to do every time I see you And beneath your skin there is flesh and blood, theres a heart and some lungs and some other shit that I don’t understand And with your mouth agape you take in a breath, and then it burns my air into carbon dioxide but thats not enough for you You need some other lonely guy to chew your food for you If I am your pet then treat me as such, but if I am a person then no one seems to have noticed If I am your pet then please let me know. Who writes the scripts for mans best friend? I think I need some corrections, or at least kill me off at the end of the season Walking home from work at 3am, thinking of you with my shaking hands What gives me the right to feel like shit? After all that they give, and I’m just a kid They’re burning a hole in the ocean floor, they’re taking their money and then they ask for more And you’re just like them and you’ll never change, I’ve seen your mask and you’re all the same So who do I ask when I want my share? Does anyone listen and do they even care? Who’s been taking your falls after all these years? Who’s choosing my flowers when I’m not here? They’re leaving their mess for me to clean. You were taking a rest when I couldn’t sleep I’m drunk on my own with my headphones on, I’m standing in the corner feeling out of placeIt felt so real at least to me, but the things I do are all you see I’m just another hipster obsessed with death, narcissistic moron without perspective I want to be strong but I’ll never be, a thorn in my side from your rosary

Baby please believe me, if you leave I promise you I’ll die. I can’t survive without you here Oh god please believe me, I’m afraid of death, and I’m not ready to go. Oh no no You know you can’t believe me, all the words that come out of my mouth are lies. It’s only a matter of time Why’d you have to say that? All the words and you decide to use those ones Why’d you have to be so mean? You’ve never been too nice to me... anyway If I’m so dumb and you’re so smart, so how come none of your art was good? It never was We’re all moving left and right I’m so bad and you’re so nice You’re so smart, I’m so dumb, but I’m alive and you’re so numb You’re all screaming left or right I’m always wrong and you’re so right You know everything is black and white I’m so damn sick of hearing you talk, I wish you’d just shut the fuck up You’re not my friend no more Things have been moving way too fast I wish that they could just slow down But it’s out of my control I’m afraid of my own thoughts, I wish I could turn them off. But they’re trapped inside my head Last night I dreamed of killing you, it made me feel kinda free The way you cried looked so pretty in the sun And in some sick way I felt you deserved it because I had planned a life for us, a little house with lots of sun And a child I never thought I wanted We’re all moving left and right I’m so bad and you’re so nice You’re so smart, I’m so dumb, but I’m alive and you’re so numb You’re all screaming left or right I’m always wrong and you’re so right You know everything is black and white Just a New York conversation rattling in my head He said: “guns are good, drugs are bad, racist shit, but I’m not racist” She said: “something something misinformed, exaggerated” Is anyone even listening? That’s when I drank my soul away, otherwise I’d have to blow out my brains Cant stand to look at your stupid face, youre out of tune and out of place Because when I speak I’m never heard You don’t listen to the words You’re just glued to the TV set You might as well be dead We’re all moving left and right I’m so bad and you’re so nice You’re so smart, I’m so dumb, but I’m alive and you’re so numb You’re all screaming left or right I’m always wrong and you’re so right You know everything is black and white

You’re sounding like a malcontent, talking about those weeks we spent burning holes out on your lawn, with that cigarette that never would go out You’ll never come out I’d like to put you in your place, and leave a scar across your face And with my fingers I’d move your mouth, and make those words the never would come out Never loved you like I should, and if you cared well then I would And if I had an ounce of self respect, well then I’d leave and I never would go back Id love to run through the grass, oh lord my feet would get so wet Our shadows lingered in the sun, but the fun is over so now it’s done I wasn’t privy to your plans because my mind was in Japan Because somewhere across the sea, there’s a better life but it’s not for me And when the cherries are in bloom, on that hill you’ll meet your doom Lamenting things not meant to be, in a bitter world that’s out for me There’s no use worrying about it now, some things are lost and never found So come on baby don’t think too hard, your face is pretty but you’re not too smart

Flat footed and grinning with confidence Theres a man coming down from the mountain The one with the coals in his eyes He’s moving so slowly that you’d never see him but he’s there I was that boy in the moonlight At the fence, singing my lies And I’d love to believe you but you’re not the voice in my head I was asleep in a daydream And everyone I knew was there My mom and my dad, and my older sister but the voice from my mouth wasn’t mine Thats when I saw you sleeping Resting your rose coloured eyes I wonder if you dream about killing me softly, or stealing my eyes with a spoon I woke up with a nose bleed I just cried and went back to bed Because every waking moment is my living nightmare that I would much rather forget I’m so damn tired of them using my oxygen All that they have they just get without trying I’m so damn tired of you stealing my oxygen burning my air into carbon dioxide With all of that shit in your lungs, it makes me a little self conscious because I have them too And I’m not the same as you I think I cant be as empty as them Because when I look in your eyes you’re just a machine you don’t see me, just pumping out numbers and facts. Theres a whole in your heart, its 14 by 60 you know because you measured it 12 thousand times in a millionth of a second its time to let a breath in because thats what the people do. Thats what the people do. Rake the leaves on your lawn, forget that the tv is on. Pick up the kids from school, then you can send me some poisonous mail. I just want this summer to end, my friends just won’t call me, I’m running out of money. an unwilling contestant in your neo-psych mind games, I’m looking for cover while stuck in your high beams. I just want this summer to end. Don’t give me arms give me legs to run with. Don’t give me compassion, give me an ice pick and an hour with your heart and I’ll chip off the black I just want you to stop it I just need them to stop it. Please just stop yelling I need peace and quiet. My brains in a day dream, my hearts at an away game. You’re not the one for me just drop off the rosary in the library box so that I dont have to see you. I got another call from an unlisted number and then I couldn’t sleep because I thought it was you but I remembered I’d never deleted your number its burned in my memory it probably some survey. All of this is here say youre probably out fucking Jeremie or something you probably love him. He’s holding you tightly so you feel safe at night while I’m entombed in my basement with my songs no one likes. And I wish I could die, I just want you to die. Please god just show me your wrath with a rapture, I don’t care about heaven I just want my bed. Because coals would be better than this, and who knows what could be better than this. Is this as good as it gets? Is this how the album should end? I’d love for it to end happy, it was all just a dream. But never with hands as bloody as these. So change your sheets for me, clean up the blood. Change your tone for me get rid of the mud. Inherit the world with your flowery death machines. open your eyes as you joke about irony. I’m not your friend just your next willing victim, if the world could be different I would end up convicted. And now its all over the drummers gone home, he took all his cymbals and I’m sitting alone. Because I dont have anyone, and I never will. You don’t have anyone you never will. And I’m so damn tired of you using my oxygen, all of your soul into carbon dioxide. And if Jesus could love me then daddy will love me if I buy the right things, and say the right things. It all will be better once we collide, it all will make sense when the worlds on my side. And now were sitting alone in that room, with all of the furniture pushed to the walls. Its covered in plastic so I wont make a mess, its covered in flowers and I don’t know why. And the words have all bent together, our goodbyes are all warped to one. Ive given up hope that the world could be normal so I’m sliding the knife in my head